Guess what?

I hate my body and my body hates me.

(and in other news...)

Coming Soon: The saga of my quest for health. Stay tuned, it'll be a mini-series.

Random Thoughts

I feel like I used to be witty. But I could be wrong.

Another List

Directly copied from a post it-

SHIT TO DO:

>sign up for Praxis tests

>fill out and send in new mncare app

>pay bills (find them?)

>buy boots

I had a bit of time today. But I decided to watch La vie en rose, skip dinner (because it involves work) and eat toast. I took the night off, then made a to-do list to make up for it. Go me.

Trying to Intuitively Feel My Way Through This

After putting in place my path to a stable career (what my grandma once called, a "real job" -something she suggested I get) I find myself frantically trying to decide about my future. After getting the job (nannying) that would enable me to volunteer in a classroom, that would give me a specific number of "classroom hours" to apply for the University of Minnesota's Master's of Education Licensure program to become a high school teacher of French and ESL, I find myself as indecisive as I was when I was a freshman as an undergrad. And then it wasn't about picking a career. I just needed a major, assuming the career thing would come later.

It's later.

It's funny, but in the end deciding my majors wasn't terribly hard. I was all about the English and so I was like, yeah, I think I'll just do it. Why not? I needed something to feel like I had some direction, so I chose it and I felt it was just the thing for me. And then I added French, because dude, I like, really like French. And French really did become such a passion, as did the relation between my French studies and the Humanities in general. The last semester before I graduated I felt so engrossed in my studies. It finally all fit together, and I loved it. And then it ended.

For a few years now, I've flirted with this whole "real world" concept: having a job, paying the bills. Being "grown-up". But really I've just been buying time, until I figure out what my next move is. Grad school? A definite, specific career? But wait, I liked moving from one thing to the next, knowing there'd always be something new coming in the next six months anyway. I think I'm kind of like my dad this way. Restless. A need to keep seeing new things, having new experiences. Even if it's hard. I guess this is the dilemma I'm being faced with: Move onto something temporary, a new experience in a new place for a short period of time, and then reassess from there (serving at the World Center was suggested) ...or Finally settle down and get a real career thing going. The question is: what does my gut say? My intuitive (or perhaps impulsive) whim usually turns out to be right for me, even if it goes against the expectations of my family. I'm the crazy girl who ran off to France. Again, and again. But it was right for me.

So I'm trying not to get too worked up about this. I'm going to ask a lot of questions, do a lot of research and truly pray that the answer falls into my lap. Or that a breeze carries me in one direction or another. I'm waiting for something that tells me what my purpose on this earth is.

I Don't Like

...running errands in the rain. Cold rain. Today was the second day I've had to do this. Oh winter, why dost thou pursue me?

I Like

...drinking really good coffee at the end of my work day. I unwind from the stress of the day, and it shows that I see some potential for my evening hours.