Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Health of the Body

So I promised to write about my health struggles this fall. I was thinking I could get out of it, since my health issues were resolving themselves, and if not immediately in front of my face, I can easily forget things. But alas, these issues are still ongoing, still shoving themselves in front of my face. Damn them!

For general health and exploration of "wellness" I began seeing an acupuncturist in August. Diane, a fellow Baha'i and also a good friend of mine, is incredibly talented, incredibly intuitive...I was hooked with the first session. I initially went to get treatment regulating my crazy monthly cycle and resolving chronic depression. But in the course of our sessions she discovered things that also needed attention, thoughts and attitudes firmly lodged in my body that had to be washed away. I began taking herbs for all of these things and was told to change my diet. On the top of the list: No More Sugar.

So I began trying to cut out more sugar from my diet. However, as I'm kind of like a crack fiend, only with sugar, this was less than successful. And so time passed and I kept working on things and seeing her as much as I could. And then I got the rash.

We (meaning me and everyone I was desperately asking) figured it was an allergic reaction to a new product I'd used on my face. Because the rash, the puffy, swollen, itchy raging rash, was only on my face. Lucky me. I didn't want to go out of the house like that, and I was also strangely tired all the time, so I spent a good week sitting at home (when not at work) watching Grey's Anatomy episodes and sleeping. (consequently not helping the depression thing...nothing makes you feel more isolated and depressed than the plague.) And so I got through it. Acupuncture did help, but as Diane tried different herbs on me, nothing seemed to do the trick. It was healing, so it didn't matter...I got rid of the suspect moisturizer and cleanser and put it all behind me.

Until it happened again. And I was so crushed. A sneaking suspicion, aided by frantic google searches led me to believe it was eczema. Which is something you have for life, once you get it. I have a friend who's sister suffers from it. She has to take a ton of Benadryl and uses steroid creams and still has horrible outbreaks regularly. Not having insurance, I wasn't going to run to a dermatologist immediately. I figured it'd be a big bill, for a diagnosis and a prescription for steroid creams that I didn't really want to take, as over time they damage the skin. My parents had come to town that weekend and I think they were really concerned because they'd never seen anything like it. My mom and I had an appointment at the Aveda Institute and though the girl who did my hair was nice, every other perfectly coiffed girl there glanced in horror at the girl who dared to appear in public with a face like that. At my appointment with Diane a few days later, she scolded me for not calling her sooner, and then after doing some acupuncture, she referred me to Dr. Chen, a Chinese dermatologist who would give me specific herbs to treat my condition.

The next day, I sat in the waiting room of the acupuncture school, flustered because I was late, because I got lost. My meeting with Dr. Chen was quick; she looked at my face, my tongue and felt my pulse. I told her about my symptoms and then sat back in the waiting room as she prepared the herbs. That night I felt like I was in Potions class in the Harry Potter books, brewing my concoction. The tea, I soon found out, was horrid stuff. Horrid. Like drinking vomit. And then there was the list of foods that I could not eat. Some I didn't care about. No mangos, okay. No seafood, no problem. No onions or garlic? What? Are you kidding me? It's only what I put in almost every dish I make. It's only what flavors everything. And then there was no beef, no fried food, no pineapple, no turkey. And cut out almost all sugar. Big surprise.
A week on this new regime was hard. And for some reason I thought it would only take a week. I improved dramatically. When I went back and she gave me more herbs, I was devastated. I felt I deserved a reprieve from the restrictions and the vomit tea. I may have been still detoxing from the sugar, because I became super depressed and didn't want to do anything. But later I got used to it. Used to the tea, and the new eating. I'm actually really grateful...nothing else would have made me quit sugar, but the threat of a horrid rash appearing if I didn't.

My skin has been getting better and better since. Until a few days ago. I think I'm having another episode. But I only think so, because I can hardly tell. I can feel it, and there are small patches of the rash here and there. But so far, no horrible outbreaks or eyes so swollen I can't open them in the morning. I see Dr. Chen tomorrow. This will mean more of the yuckier herbs, I'm sure, but I'm pretty sure we'll get to the bottom of this. With all these changes I feel healthier than I have in a long time. And if nothing else, at least I've learned patience. For long-lasting health benefits it takes a longer treatment. Hopefully I'll never have to resort to medicines that are more damaging than beneficial. Hopefully I can kick this eczema, or whatever it is in the butt.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Second Adolescence

I think Marjan was right. There's a second adolescence that comes in your early to mid twenties. Looking back at pictures from the past few years I have to say, Good Lord, am I awkward! On the brighter side: maybe I'll actually grow up this time...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thought cued by picture of random baby...

Why do babies look like old men sometimes, but not always? I suspect it has something to do with the bald heads and the ears that stick out. And the need to wear diapers.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Guess what?


I hate my body and my body hates me.

(and in other news...)

Coming Soon: The saga of my quest for health. Stay tuned, it'll be a mini-series.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Random Thoughts

I feel like I used to be witty. But I could be wrong.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Another List

Directly copied from a post it-


SHIT TO DO:


>sign up for Praxis tests

>fill out and send in new mncare app

>pay bills (find them?)

>buy boots


I had a bit of time today. But I decided to watch La vie en rose, skip dinner (because it involves work) and eat toast. I took the night off, then made a to-do list to make up for it. Go me.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Trying to Intuitively Feel My Way Through This

After putting in place my path to a stable career (what my grandma once called, a "real job" -something she suggested I get) I find myself frantically trying to decide about my future. After getting the job (nannying) that would enable me to volunteer in a classroom, that would give me a specific number of "classroom hours" to apply for the University of Minnesota's Master's of Education Licensure program to become a high school teacher of French and ESL, I find myself as indecisive as I was when I was a freshman as an undergrad. And then it wasn't about picking a career. I just needed a major, assuming the career thing would come later.

It's later.

It's funny, but in the end deciding my majors wasn't terribly hard. I was all about the English and so I was like, yeah, I think I'll just do it. Why not? I needed something to feel like I had some direction, so I chose it and I felt it was just the thing for me. And then I added French, because dude, I like, really like French. And French really did become such a passion, as did the relation between my French studies and the Humanities in general. The last semester before I graduated I felt so engrossed in my studies. It finally all fit together, and I loved it. And then it ended.

For a few years now, I've flirted with this whole "real world" concept: having a job, paying the bills. Being "grown-up". But really I've just been buying time, until I figure out what my next move is. Grad school? A definite, specific career? But wait, I liked moving from one thing to the next, knowing there'd always be something new coming in the next six months anyway. I think I'm kind of like my dad this way. Restless. A need to keep seeing new things, having new experiences. Even if it's hard. I guess this is the dilemma I'm being faced with: Move onto something temporary, a new experience in a new place for a short period of time, and then reassess from there (serving at the World Center was suggested) ...or Finally settle down and get a real career thing going. The question is: what does my gut say? My intuitive (or perhaps impulsive) whim usually turns out to be right for me, even if it goes against the expectations of my family. I'm the crazy girl who ran off to France. Again, and again. But it was right for me.

So I'm trying not to get too worked up about this. I'm going to ask a lot of questions, do a lot of research and truly pray that the answer falls into my lap. Or that a breeze carries me in one direction or another. I'm waiting for something that tells me what my purpose on this earth is.