It's December! Yay!

I've discovered two things on this first day of December. 1: I'm still in denial about this winter thing. 2: I'm kind of an extreme person.

Let's focus on number one, shall we? I was still wearing flip flops in mid-November. Strange? Yes, but not unheard of, especially in this crazy place called Minnesota where some guys walk around in shorts well into November and then break them out again at the beginning of March, when there's still five feet of snow on the ground. I avoided wearing a coat at all for most of November, choosing instead to wear sweatshirts. For all intents and purposes, a coat would have kept me much warmer, but I couldn't bring myself to even consider it. And now, in December, when it's snowing and 13 degrees Fahrenheit, I am still wearing my light jacket. The jacket I usually put on in early fall if it's a bit chilly. Yes, that one.

On the other hand, I love wearing my scarves, and the hat and mittens that my mom just knitted for me. I love them so much, I wear them inside. This seems to be a step towards acceptance of winter, but don't be fooled. I feel slightly distrustful every time I walk outside and see my breath. I cannot fathom how it got to be that time of year when I have to scrape off my car every morning, add 5 to 10 minutes to my drive, wear socks. I'm typically quite enthusiastic about winter (compared to the average person) but I don't trust it this year. I guess you could say I don't really believe in it. Yet.

On to number two: kind of an extreme person. This is not news to anyone who knows me. Laughing to crying and back again, angry and apologetic, unmotivated and then super inspired. My latest pendulum swing seems to be from wanting to be in complete control and perfect to wanting to drift off into a fantasy world and forget about every single responsibility I have to myself and others. Since I'm a woman, and the ups and downs, back and forth happens every month, I'm slowly realizing I need to embrace this part of myself. I need to swing back and forth, from one to the other. The more I resist going back to one direction the harder everything is for me. So I'm starting to think that maybe the trick is just to swing back sooner, instead of staying at one extreme. Maybe the more I go back and forth, the closer I'll be to finding that middle ground where I have a good mixture of both control and spontaneity. Anyway, it's worth a try, right?