My Boss

I began a job at the beginning of August after three months of unemployment (which was two and a half too many, if you ask me). Now that I've been working for a month, I think I have a pretty good read on my boss.

She appeared deceptively innocent when I first met her. I mean, I was intimidated, but I figured I'd impress her with my willingness to please and my ability to learn. My training period was not smooth sailing, due to the general transitions taking place in the company, but whenever I was overwhelmed more experienced personnel stepped in. My boss was quite flustered with all these changes and fellow workers were nervously watching to see how she'd adjust, how tyrannical she'd become. Turns out she's been tyrannical and ego-centric from the day she was born.

Somehow, from the beginning I was incompetent in every way and she made sure to voice or rather scream her displeasure. I didn't get her what she wanted fast enough, or it wasn't what she really wanted. My attempts to please were met with an expression on her face that basically said, "Ugh! You just don't get it and I hate you!"

By the end of my first full day I was about to collapse, I was so tired. It's a pretty physical job. For the first two weeks I was screamed at. I would look at my boss and ask myself, "Why does she scream all the time?" And cry. Does she cry. Out in the open, for the world to see. Except usually I'm the only one around so I see and hear it all.

Eventually I figured out what was up with the temper and all the crying. She didn't sleep much. She didn't eat much. Tired and crabby = screaming at me to fix it. Now, I know if someone is "The Boss" they should at least know how to eat and sleep in a manner that allows them to function. But not all bosses are that advanced. Not all bosses are adults. Mine happens to have lived on this planet for only five months. Baby Ella doesn't know how to sleep without help and can't eat unless I make and hold the bottle. She needs help to burp, she needs help getting dressed. But I dare you to find a boss that looks cuter in a onesie. Or shrieks with glee when you blow a raspberry. Or can be picked up and carried around.

Yes, Baby Boss and I had some issues at the beginning, but now that we understand each other's weaknesses (hers is that she cannot use words to communicate, mine is that my breasts are not lactating), we're getting along just fine. Have big plans with Pooh and Piglet and Tigger tomorrow:)